Saturday, January 2, 2016

Heal.


I was asked once, in an interview, I think for the QSOS Quilt Alliance interview,
(Gosh, that was 4 years ago already)
if I ever made a quilt to heal.


I said no. 

Until this day, I have not ever made a quilt to heal, only to give joy to help heal others.

Today, I started making a quilt to heal. I think it will be one of many.



I have my very large stash of Double Knit Polyester fabrics here at my house on Long Island. I knew I wanted to make a quilt, I should say "a Second quilt this week", as I already made one this week from this  polyester stash... (Yes, I love working in polyester, feel free to send your poly cast offs.)
I wanted to put together a quilt directly inspired by my grandmothers polyester quilts, (see below a quilt of hers) with long pieces and loads of strong color...



With the death of my dearly loved friend, this week, I had forgotten the pain and discomfort that comes with grieving. I hurt, I ache, can't sleep, can't eat.. All of that....  I do know I have to sit through it, and each day will get better.

I decided making a quilt would be good to direct the turmoil of grief and sadness, and maybe I'd find relief within that process.


I'm not sure where it's going yet... It's coming along and I'm letting it take it's own course. It's not what you'd normally see in my work, but for today, I can tell you, it feels good to cut random fabrics, play and arrange them, rip them out, start over, and well, cry and get angry.


I had visions of it being a square quilt, But frankly, I'm kind of loving this hanging just as it is...I like the odd edges, the dripping color etc.  It feels like something I would have done about 8 years ago... I'm enjoying going back and working way out on the limbs of any boundaries. Working in a different material then I normally would, is fantastic, and I Don't want to over think it. I just want to make it. And make another if I have too.

This is not finished.

And I don't feel better yet...

But, one day at a time... right?


26 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for letting us participate in your process. So important to take time for grieving. Trauer hat viele Wege und braucht ihren ganz eigenen Raum und Zeit. Welch ein Geschenk, dass du sie kreativ ausdrücken kannst - und uns an diesem Prozess teilhaben lässt. Danke dir dafür!

    ReplyDelete
  2. so sorry to read you have lost a dear friend. This is a good way to grieve and you will have a quilt to remember her by. Take care of yourself

    ReplyDelete
  3. Quilts and making quilts = emotion. Mostly joy, fun, enjoyment, but now and then sadness too. Aren't we the lucky ones to have this in our lives? Wishing you lots of strength to cope with this loss. Having hardly any family my friends mean everything to me, so I can imagine this is really, really difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This quilt may give you a whole new dimension in your art/craft/life. Keep on...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I haven't grieved in a long time, but I remember the pain of it. I think you've made a good choice in how to cope, but DO take care of yourself. Do not punish yourself by not eating and taking care - your friend would not want that. XOXO - Here's to healing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Only too familiar....Love you, V....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, Victoria, I am heartsick for you over your loss. Grief is such a hard thing. Wishing you clarity through the fog.

    I am encouraged to see you working. Some of the best advice I ever got in my quilt life came years ago when I was grieving. A friend told me simply, "When life is hard, make a quilt." I have repeated that suggestion many times since. Most of those quilts will never see the light of day because of what they represent but they are all dear because of the journey they stand for.

    Hugs and prayers to you. Keep working, keep moving.

    ReplyDelete
  8. when my mother died I threw myself into my quilting and stayed busy - for me staying busy helps - you will work it out it just takes time as they always say. the more unexpected the death the harder to work through I think.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love it. immersing yourself in your passion (quilting) really helps to heal as it gives your emotions an outlet. Peace be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Grieving is a process...like quilting or art so not surprising that they can go hand in hand for many of us. (do remember to eat and take care of yourself too though...)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am saddened to hear of your great loss. Your healing quilt looks like a way to help you deal with that loss.........hugs and prayers. And........as others have already said please take good care of you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry you are hurting. Grief sucks all the energy and joy out of lives. Glad you gave found a place to work through the pain and anger.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The only way out is through (Robert Frost), whether it is through a door, through the passage of time or through artistic expression. I am so sorry for the loss of you dear friend. Sending good vibes your way.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sending hugs and love to you Victoria, all from your home state of Minnesota. I wish I could walk on over and give you a big hug......but I can't. We are grieving the loss of a very dear person also and she too loved to sew and quilt until her illness got the best of her. With all that being said I just may have to start a new quilt to heal also!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love making healing quilts, and for my daughter I made a heart pillow and added things that had meaning to us and her. I had to rush it, but it was finished just in time to give to her so she could hold it, until we were together again. It really meant a lot to me to be able to do that and now as I continue my journey and can think about quilting again, I plan on making one for me with old clothes from all of us.

    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  16. so much sadness here! I won't offer my advice, because you (and you all, plural) know much more than I do about how to deal with it. Still I gotta ask, do you really WANT polyester?!! I'd LOVE to help you out with your grieving.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry to hear of your loss... wishing you peace and time to heal. Hugs! xo

    ReplyDelete
  18. So sorry for your loss. Glad that you have the time to work through at least some of the pain. xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. So sorry about the loss of your dear friend. I wish you this grieving to be the last one for many years to come. The quilt you are working on looks like it will come out superb. I love your grandma's quilt, it is fantastic!
    Myrto

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm sorry for your loss. I can feel the emotion in this quilt and I suspect you will find solace in the journey.

    ReplyDelete
  21. One day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time, my lovely friend. I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain that ensues. The fact that you can make anything right now is pretty impressive. But we are fortunate, indeed, to have this outlet to express ourselves. Sending you a hug from afar...

    ReplyDelete
  22. I recommend "In the Presence of Grief." It helped me overcome the loss of my mother.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It is a good choice to create even in your grief ...so sorry for the pain you are experiencing, so grateful for the love that finds you in this place. One moment at a time ...

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm so sorry for your loss Victoria. Your blog is so upbeat, and brings me joy, and I hope that sharing with us helps you too. Pour your heart out on that quilt! Sara

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am sorry for your loss. I hope this quilt and the many to come will help you on your healing journey.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hugs and healing to you... You have taught me so much with what you share on this blog, thank you. Remember to take care of the body as well as the heart and soul. So sorry for your loss!

    ReplyDelete

Hi! Thanks for leaving me a comment!
I appreciate your taking the time to say hi!
Have a fabulous day!